Mandy! What happened to girlboy? I ask you because that's where I met you, but does ANYONE know what happened to girlboy.diaryland.com? It's gone! No more! There is no mention of it anywhere on the internet!

I am sad. It's like a little part of my youth just died. I wish I still had my girlboy list. I wrote it back in the day, before my relationship with Steve, before everything. Back when I still believed that love existed and that I would find it, someday. Back when I thought the perfect guy was lurking out there, just beyond my reach. Back when I didn't know that love could hurt, could sting, could beat you up and leave you to die and then come back when you've just about healed and beat you up again.

I am so bitter :D

I still want to see him. A few days ago I learned that two of my former classmates are dating. These two people were never really in the same social circle, but now they are together and they are officially The Cutest Couple Ever.

And I am jealous. Well, not really jealous, but it makes me realize how lonely I am. It makes me long for the days of high school when I was part of Cam&Steve, and people knew me that way.

I am such a hypocrite. I don't really miss Steve at all, at least I don't think I do. And yet I miss being half of a couple. It's all for show, ladies and gentlemen! It's just smoke and mirrors. When the curtain falls and the stage makeup comes off, my life is nothing but a sham.

Meh.