People, my life is complete, I have a puffy vest.

All winter I have been watching Everwood (which is sadly on hiatus until mid-April) and watching one character wear her purdy green puffy vest in almost every episode. How I longed for a puffy vest of my own! How I wished I could wear one without looking like a marshmallow! What a hole in my life it made!

And so all winter, everytime I went to the mall, I would go into every store that sold these instruments of temptation (for friggin 75$, thankyewverymuch), I would try one on, I would look at myself in the mirror and shake my head at the non-cuteness of it all, and I would go about my day.

Even when I started losing weight, I still could not find a puffy vest I liked. My family knew of my dilemma, and tried to help me, but sadly there was no cure to my ailing heart. And yet, everywhere, in the bus, on the street, in the hallways at school, I saw other girls with puffy vests looking as cute as can be, not a hint of marshmallowy-ness about them, taunting me.

And so as I headed to the mall today, having almost no money on my debit card and having just finished a conversation with my mom about how I should save my money since I am jobless, I tried to push all puffy-vested daydreams from my mind. But my cruel and tempting mistress would not let go of me so easily. It is by an unknown driving force that I walked into a store I had never entered before and spied a rack of puffy vests.

A rack of puffy vests with the sign "Winter Clearance! 75% off!". Now, this made me happy, because that meant I could have a puffy vest for under 30$. And although winter is drawing to a close, Canadian weather is not fit for puffy vest wearing, and I was already dreaming of a long spring of puffy-vested days, when the weather is much more appropriate. I also pitied the poor saps that had bought a vest at the beginning of the winter for such an exorbitant amount of money.

So I wandered over and picked up a black one, a medium, although I knew it would probably not fit me, and tried it on, and looked in the mirror, and it was like magic. Although I had to hold my breath to pull up the zipper, once it was on it hugged me cloud, and I. Looked. Slim.

Imagine me, slim, in a puffy vest. Magic, I tell you.

I stared in disbelief and made quick mental calculations so see if I could afford this slashed-price marvel. Glory Hallelujah, I could indeed! I rushed to the cash before anything could change my mind and made the pretty little vest mine.

On the way home I wore it under my coat and I have never been warmer. For now, it lurks beneath my coat and gives me an extra layer of warmth, but watch out world! As soon as the weather warms up you will bask in the glory of my puffy vest.

The End.