Am I back? I dunno. I fell like I should write again, I think it's good for me, but then again i read my last entry and all that depression just comes back like a huge wave.

I hope I'm back. I've gotten good at routines. Last time I was here I had an empty Kleenex box nearby, I was unhappy, I was glancing at the phone every two minutes wondering if I should call HIM. I started nervous-eating, sleeping in just so I wouldn't have to think about things or face my life, avoiding everyone and anyone.

Life was beating me up. But now?

Now I am twelve pounds lighter, I fit into my old clothes, I am doing GREAT in school, and I practically jump out of bed most days (with the exception of days when I have 8:30 classes ... ugh)

Haha, Life, how do you like DEM APPLES??

I didn't find someone new, I didn't get back with him, nothing important happened except that I changed. I realised that if I let these years go by I will regret it for the rest of my life, and I am damn sick of regret.

I love life. I feel super spiffy as a college student, going into the city everyday and looking stylish in that student way and studying in coffee shops and whatnot. And I love that I lost weight. I feel great, and really I didn't have to change much to accomplish this. I just had to stop nibbling on stuff when I was stressed, so I stopped stressing out.

Today I had a late class so I got to watch trashy morning television and when I went out, it was over the freezing point, the air was crisp and fresh, I walked to the bus stop with my coat open. It was great.

Much love to my little Mandy bear, I know how you feel, I was there too. Eventually you'll know you made the right choice, until then, I'm still here.