Why do I procrastinate so much? I know I do it. I'm sitting at my computer, visiting every website in my favourites list just to avoid working.

Because why do now what you could do later? Live for the moment, enjoy life ... And when you have to work your ass off later, get no sleep and ingest record quantities of caffeinated soda!

I'm an idiot for doing it. If I just did it ahead of time, I could have free time later, and not be stressed about getting my shit done on time! I say it to myself all the time, and yet every time there's a project, or a paper, or a report I have to write, I'm always up til the wee hours finishing it up.

I'm an idiot.

Today in the hall with the boy. His female friend comes up and makes googly eyes at us, as she always does. The boy gets all defensive, as he always does. Says we're not going out, as he always does. He turns to me and says "It's true, right? That we haven't gone out?". I say yes, it's true. She leaves.

And then I turn to him and say "but WHY haven't we gone out?" I mean, it's all true. We've never actually been out on a date, because meeting up at the talent show does not count. And he replies "You want to go out? I'll take you out." Matter of factly, just like that.

There was a slight moment of "Psshaw, like that'll ever happen", but the boy has been known to do something right once in a while.

Come to think of it I've never actually BEEN on a date. Look at me. Sixteen years old and never been out with a guy.

I feel like I've always been a year late on everyone. It makes sense, cause I'm a year younger than most people in my grade, but it's fucking up my development.

When I still thought boys had cooties, the other girls were getting crushes. When I started getting crushes, all the other girls had FRIENDS who were boys. When I started having friends who were boys, all the other girls started getting boyfriends. All the people in my class had their teenage depression a year before me. I was happy, they were down all the time. When I was miserable and depressed and felt horrible, they were all bouncy and giggly and happy.

Anyways ... rambling on as always. This entry had no real point, when I think about it. But why break a trend?

And tomorrow's another day, I guess.