Did I really leave that entry up that long? Relapsing into not writing anymore, I guess ... Except usually when I stop writing, it's because I get happier and have nothing to bitch and moan about anymore ...

But now I just feel ... blah. Not happy, not particularly unhappy, just bored with everything. Last year I was all primed about applying to cegep, about doing new things, changing my life ... Now it's just ... what's the point?

I mean, really? I'm going from one french private school to another french private school. As my sister so blatantly put it, (I won't link her because she'll see it on her hits counter) "My sister is going to college to study music; but that's alright, because it's music and science, so if her attempt at art completely fails, she can rely on being a genius to see her through."

What the hell is that? Oh, she wants to go to film school. Whoop-dee-fuckin-doo. She fucked around cegep for two years, getting nowhere, and now she wants to move to BC and go to FILM SCHOOL? Make up your fucking mind. And while you're at it, don't bash me because I know what I want to do more than you do.

Sometimes I just want to throw it all away and go live on some street corner ... Want to come with me?

I got my report card today ... Excellent work! Certificate for exceptional grades! People in the halls asking "What's your average?" ad nauseam. The boy completely ignoring me ...

Why is the only guy who makes me smile the piss-off who sits next to me in class and messes with my head every chance he gets? What the hell.

I'm sick and tired of talking about the boy anyways. Me and the boy. The boy and me. Maybe I was right in the first place. Maybe his ex was right. Maybe they were all right ... Maybe he is just a jackass who doesn't realize what's right under his nose.

Maybe if I just don't talk to him for the next few days ... maybe he'll miss me? Then again, maybe he'll realize how much better his life was before he became friends with me, and then HE'LL avoid ME.

I miss the sun. Where are you? Come back! Don't wait til april ... I need you now ...