vivre sans vivre

moi qui n'ai jamais su marcher

que pour te suivre

Bïa is my new guilty pleasure. I went to an Yves Duteil concert with my mother and grandmother, and he had brought along this Brazilian singer, Bia, who is just amazing. They sang a french version of the Vinicius de Moraes song "Samba em Preludio".

I've been playing that song, in both portuguese and french, on my computer non stop since I got back from that concert. It's so beautiful, so longing, so soulful. Portuguese is such a beautiful language ... Listen to it. Listen to it now.

I got plenty of yummy results from my end of term exams last week. Remember the English essay I got 98% on? My english teacher typed it up and handed it out in class, and we spent 20 good minutes pointing out why I'm so friggin' great.

She did it in her other class too, so I keep getting these people who come up to me and say "Wow, your essay was wonderful! I'm in awe!"

It was like a big ego trip. But hey, I'm aloud, right?

I don't know if it's just PMS or what, but the boy's ex-girlfriend is really starting to piss me off. All of this week.

First she was talking about how cute we are together. I told her to stop it. Did she? No. When I told her there was nothing between us? No. When I threatened to stop helping her with math and chemistry? Still no.

Then she started warning me against him, telling me how he's a horrible guy, he'll take advantage of me, it's just a matter of time before I figure it out. I told her to stop it. Did she? No. After she promised, promised, and promised again? No. After I told her it was none of her goddamned business, just because she's the ex doesn't mean she has a right to be nosey? Still no.

She had the fucking nerve to say that our "sudden attachment" was based on some kind of marijuana story that I really, really hope is only part of the boy's past.

Come on. She fucking thought I was fucking buying pot from this guy? And she has the fucking nerve to say she "knows" me? Fuck her.

Then today, she gets together with some girl and they start making fun of him. Right there, in math class, right in back of me, they're dissing him in every way possible. I asked them to stop it. Did they? No. When I gave them a dirty look and said their incessant laughter was distracting? No. When I turned around and said if you're going to destroy him, at least wait til I'm gone? Still no.

And again, what did she say? She fucking said "You know when someone hurts you, you just want payback? This is my payback."

Then fucking go say it to him! Why the hell did I have to listen to your shit all week?

Fuck. I was in a relatively good mood before this entry. Now I just fucking realized how pissed off I am. Trust me, this has nothing to do with their relationship, it's only because she's been TALKING MY EARS OFF FOR THE LAST FUCKING WEEK. Day after day, after day.

Why do I wanna fall asleep and not wake up for a long time? It seems like time is always passing so fast.

Except during math class, when you just want the period to end so you can get away from the two bitches yaking away behind you.

Fuck.