So shoot me ...

I missed my one year anniversary at diaryland. Totally forgot about it. So here, for you, is the awfully important albeit slightly belated First Year Recap (TM).

My first entry conveniently had the same name as my sister's first entry (who's link I will not post here as she is not supposed to know I've read her diary.)

I don't hate myself as much anymore. I don't wanna die anymore. I want to live, see what's ahead of me. Wait until the end of my teenage years before making any rash decisions.

There is stuff going on. I have stuff to focus on: applying to cegep, getting accepted, graduating, my music, prom ... My life isn't so empty anymore.

I still have no social life to speak of, but in the past four months I've been to more movies than in my entire life. Sure, I went with my sisters, but I still went.

There's a guy, sure, but I try to ignore it. Same guy. Same shit, different year. And I don't know what to do about it. I'm still as confused as I was. Do I want to date him? Do I want to be friends with him? Why have all my other crushes come and gone and yet this one has stuck?

He didn't specifically promise to call this year. He didn't do it last year anyway. Maybe I'll call him ... Maybe I'll wimp out.

If my mother ever taught me anything it's how to repress my feelings.

That came out just right.

All in all, a good year. I've moved on, and yet I haven't.

Speaking of moving on ... I need to talk about something else. Because when I get too introspective like this I start sickening myself.

Things to do : Christmas, get the guts to call the boy, write new year's resolutions.

I once again babysat the devil's spawn today. Those kids are murder. I felt so sorry for their cat : he didn't have any food or water when I got there, he was whining like there was no tomorrow. His fur is all dirty and matted, he hasn't been brushed in months. He's obviously not loved there. Poor thing.

Speaking of cats, my sister's coming over for christmas. She's getting here tomorrow morning, with her cat Millie, which is my cats' sister. Great fun will abound.

One sleep til Christmas.

Later.