So ...

*cough cough*

I got an e-mail from My Faithful Reader Eve Louise a while ago asking me where I was.

Answer is, I dunno.

I logged in just now and I had to check to see what I had written in my last entry.

It was my sixteenth birthday. I had just received driving lessons. I had gotten an invitation to the prom. Life was great.

Update? You want a fuckin' update?

I'm still sixteen.

I passed my learner's permit.

I no longer have a date to the prom.

Life sucks.

The whole prom thing is just so ... weird. There was an argument, between me and the boy. A silly thing. I was doing my whole mock-bitch routine, which I always do with my sisters. Told him I never wanted to see him again. Told him I hated him. I thought he understood the joking tone.

He took it seriously.

He decided to go call up my former best friend from 1st to 6th grade, who now attends a different school. He asked her instead. I found out, and I called his house and yelled at him. Then I called her house and bitched at him with my friend.

Now everyone is going alone.

And now everything is weird again because whether I want to or not, I keep thinking that maybe I really wanted to go with him. Maybe I'm disappointed.

And the funny thing is, I was only mad at him for a couple of days. Now, if its possible, we talk more than ever. I even bought him a christmas gift, which I will give him tomorrow if I summon up enough guts to do it. We have had to continuously tell people that we are NOT dating, that we never have, and they don't believe us. It's so strange ... Because I told these girls that if he ever asked again, I'd say no. I said that so they would stop asking me if I liked him ...

And maybe, just maybe I said it to make myself believe I don't like him. Because sometimes, I think I'm at the exact same point I was last year. Sad, depressed, and hopelessly in love with this guy. And I'm pretty sure I never want to be at that stage again. That was the worst year of my life.

So now, confusion. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to say anything, because every time I've done that in the past I say the wrong thing.

Why do I always say the wrong thing?

P.S. Yeah, template sucks. So shoot me. I thought it would look good, but it doesn't, so now I have to find a new one, but I'm too friggin' lazy.